Dumbing down fanfiction (fundamentalist style!)

Okay... Just this...

conservative mom rewrites Harry Potter so her kids won't become witches

Read it and weep. I weep for her kids. The semicolon abuse, lingering on Hagrid's manly chest hair, and Harry's newly blued eyes kept me from getting past the first page. But apparently Hogwarts school of Prayer, and Reverend Dumbledore, are going to lead Harry down the righteous path and Face down the evils of Barack Obama (Voldemort) cause, yeah... *scratches head* I think she missed the Hogwarts Express!