mab: mab cosplays (sexy wexy)
Hello, livejournal. It's been a very long time since I've checked in and I've missed you all.

Life has been chaotic, but in a good way.



The past couple of years, I've been struggling hard with some personal revelations. Pretty much I can pinpoint the day they became REAL to the day the Prozac wore off. I'd been on it or an alternate antidepressant from ages 16-36; I'm now 38.

The day it wore off, I began writing a fic for the Harry Big Bang and pounded out 74k words for it in 2 weeks. For those of you who haven't read it, it deals largely with gender identity issues and despite the content warnings, is hugely positive and affirming. 'Twas Brillig is the fic, and the link goes to Ao3.

Why this is relevant. I haven't been aware/honest with myself for most of my life as to my own identity/sexuality. Largely, I've presented myself as a staunch LGBTQIA+ ally and left it at that. And then I've lived my life in a pretty much mental closet, stuffing everything I can't deal with into the back of my mind and not dealing with any of it. And that resulted in me kinda having a half-existence, not really living life, instead just bullshitting my way through it ... not connecting with my kids, my husband, my therapist, my kids teachers, my parents, etc... fandom was my escape and the only place I ever let my personality really shine.

Last fall, I decided to give my real life name one last go - see if I could reclaim it and that was a gigantic fail. I ended up so deep in depression I couldn't breathe. I picked up cosplay in an effort to pull myself out of it, since even fanfic writing was too hard. Cosplay, like fanfic writing and podficcing, and playing with art - pretty much fandom in general did give me a stepping stone and I realized I needed to deal with my shit and I needed help to do it in January.

I found another therapist familiar with questioning gender/sexuality issues and had a great first session. Set some goals and met them, and then the second session hit me like a blow to the chest. She couldn't take on another 'talk therapy' client, instead wanting to focus on mindfulness/body awareness meditation... etc.. new agey stuff that I think is great for some people, but wasn't my pressing need then. So I stopped seeing her and instead joined a spa/massage co-op where gender is pretty much a non-issue. Naked hot tubbing and sauna and being out of doors with all the genders and an understood respect of personal boundaries works wonders for me - more than talking shit out.

I'm totally going on a tangent again. Anyway. I came out to my immediate (people I live with) family as Androgyne (nonbinary/genderqueer) in February and life has been looking up like whoa since then. Husband and I have been connecting again, working on talking more, sharing goals and ideals, making sure our futurescopes line up still. They do. He's not exactly sure about what nonbinary gender means, but I've explained it's really just who I've always been, the me he fell in love with was still me, just a me who was unaware that being outside the binary box was a thing I could be.

I struggled with my weight for a long time, and while I acknowledge weight issues stem from many different sources for many different people, for me, it was mostly a symptom of my own disconnect from my true and honest self. I recognize myself looking in a mirror again. I feel present when I'm out and about walking, doing things. Hell, I'm out and about doing things again. ... that right there is a huge sign that I'm on the path to personal wellness.

Anyway, I've gone on long enough. Call me Mab. That's the name I've used with people I trust since 2004/2005. I'm using it in real life more now, and working up to officially changing my name and being honest with my extended family/parents, etc... As of now, I answer to any pronouns. Eventually, I'll likely prefer they/them, but for now I'm not focusing on that (because if I do, it'll hurt me every time it's ignored and I'm not strong enough to face that atm.)

My kids think it's nbd at all. They were so unperturbed by me coming out as genderqueer that it gives me hope for the future.






2013



2014



2015



Late 2015



2016 (about 2 weeks ago)








This is the ship I've been obsessed with since 2014. Fanart by Brunagonda. I base my cosplays off her vision of Nico di Angelo and Will Solace. I'm still waiting for my blue contacts to arrive for Will.













mab: mab cosplays (sexy wexy)
Hello there LJ!

I've been so freaking busy it isn't even funny. Real life can really bite. Anyway, I don't feel like talking about it because it's all annoying and stuff and I'm grateful it is what it is and isn't like serious severe shit, yanno?

I just got back from a convention. Newcon PDX. This was my first time going to a con specifically to cosplay. It wasn't bad at all, but the photographer I had booked a shoot with had a death in the family the day before day 0 and had to cancel, so that sucked. I mean, for her. I could've had nice shiny photos taken by the convention photogs at the photo booth, but I really wasn't feeling it. ... Maybe next time. Instead I got hallway shots from fellow con-goers and that's good enough for me.

Thought I'd share them with you. If anybody wants to see what the fuck Mab is off doing when she's supposed to be finishing her WiPs... >.>

My daughter cosplayed with me as characters from Steven Universe and that was really fun. I met up with my brother and his good friend on the second day and spent the last day just walking around and talking to random people. (my favorite pastime when I'm in the mood for it).
[livejournal.com profile] slr2moons was going to come with us but real life is an even bigger bitch in her life than in mine right now so it was understandable why she couldn't.

These are the characters Gwen (my daughter) and I were cosplaying from SU.



jasper (SU) - 1.png PeridotNoLimbs.png





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The Peridot on the left is Gwen.





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Then I cosplayed Nico di Angelo from Rick Riordan's Percy Jackson series.



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And I cosplayed Hearthstone from Rick Riordan's Magnus Chase series too. A super sweet deaf elf with his fashion-loving dwarf boyfriend, Blitzen. Only, I haven't yet found a cosplayer to be Blitzen. One day - this will happen.



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After overdoing the rune magic, Hearth signs, 'washing machine'?

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And lastly ... My daughter cosplayed a character from Homestuck.



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Anyway, if you made it through all of that, what do you think? shut up, mab and stick to writing

:P

I hope you are well f-list. I'm sorry I'm so absent.
mab: mab cosplays (sexy wexy)
Hey all!

I really have been away for a while and I'm sorry for that. I've been engrossed by the PJO/HoO (Percy Jackson and the Olymians / Heroes of Olympus) fandom and they're all on tumblr. - If ever you're looking for me, you can find me there as mab-speaks. I also run a ship blog for the fandom's ultimate bromance to romance duo - jercyjuice and I've taken up Arting in an effort to grow my skills and have a creative outlet when the words just aren't coming. My art blog is mabscribbles.

I've been writing up a storm the past several months. I counted my words made so far in that fandom starting 7 months ago and it's: 190,365 ... so yeah, a lot. I've also made a few podfics and started a PJO writer/artist 18+ chat room. It's keeping me very busy.

In the world of HP, the third annual HP Horror Fest just posted reveals at [livejournal.com profile] hp_darkarts and it was a blast to mod. I made art for it. Disturbing art. I kept with my tradition of torturing poor Teddy Lupin. (I only torture my favorite characters)

I'll stick it under a spoiler tag if you'd rather not see. TW: blood, self harm.

Summary: As a Metamorphmagus, Teddy Lupin has always struggled with what he "actually" looks like. In a moment of insanity he decides to find out for himself.



Teddy Horror.jpg



See it on Ao3

It was my first attempt ever at using a tablet to color - and my tablet is obsolete. Still, I think it effectively got the horror message I was going for across. *wry smile*

In other news related to art, there's a new daily drawing community on dreamwidth started by a local writing buddy of mine and I'm having fun participating and drawing for the prompts. All doodles are PG-13 and under and can be from any fandom. There's no limit to how often or infrequent members participate either.

So check it out if you're interested. I see a lot of improvement in my ability in just the past month from drawing something every day.



Here was my doodle for today:

This is Nico di Angelo, son of Hades, just waking up. He's normally pretty brooding and not a morning person. Just figures that the only clean mug he can find was left by Will Solace, son of Apollo. Maybe after he's had his morning coffee, Nico will be in more of a sunshine mood. :P

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...

I've booked my tickets for my summer fangirl trip to London! I'll be staying with [livejournal.com profile] writcraft and have plans to meet up with some other UK-rs too! Can't wait. I'll be flying out on 30 July and coming home on 7 August.

All right. I think that's enough for an update right now. I have to run my daughter's friend home in a sec. I miss you f-list, and I promise I'm not going to be away forever. I'm just following where my muse is leading and I trust that eventually it will return me to HP. Hogwarts will always be home. XD
mab: mab cosplays (sexy wexy)
Hello fandom!

I'm so sorry I've been so far away the past few weeks. My grandmother has been nearing the end of her life for the past month and I knew my birthday was going to be a hard time.

Nobody in my family (at home) remembered it and that was a bit of a punch to the gut, but then, as I get older, I'm not asking for much more than an acknowledgement. But fandom swooped in and blew me away and my birthday wasn't bad at all.

I received 60 well wishes in the forms of email, tumblr messages, lj pms, virtual gifts, lj posts, facebook posts, facebook IMs, and gifty things. So Thank you for that! Really it means the world to me. The Saturday after my birthday with my mom, grandma, family and uncle was bittersweet. It was a happy birthday/so long grandma party and you can imagine the awkward feels that inspired.

Anyway. I received word from my mother that my grandmother passed at 11:15 this morning after taking her death with dignity prescription and it was wonderful news. And my fandom friend [livejournal.com profile] slr2moons and I were out on our weekly walk when I got the news, so that was nice. I turned to her and said, "you know, I've been grieving for the past 3 weeks and now that it's over, all I feel is relief and thankfulness that she's not suffering and went on her own terms." Cancer is a motherfucking bitch and I feel really blessed that my grandma had the opportunity to take care of her affairs, to say goodbye, and to just let go before it wrecked her with more pain than anyone should have to feel.



Okay... jeez, mab... enough depressing.

Look at the birthday gifts my lovely friends did for me! Thank you all for being so unique and wonderful. The collective creativity and caring in fandom is magical. It's precious. Thank you.


A Haiku

Determination by [livejournal.com profile] digthewriter

A Drarry poem and Art

I'm Drowning by [livejournal.com profile] nobunakira

A Jason/Percy/Luke fic

Percy Jackson Has a Type by jercydrabbles aka yvieisqueer


A Jason/Percy (Jercy) ficlet

Birthday Jercy Treat by Razielim

The beginning of a new Apollo/Zephyrus series

Creepiness has its Benefits by malkuthehighwind
mab: mab cosplays (sexy wexy)
Holy bleeping Shiznitz! I seem to have had a really productive year. Considering I started 2014 with a huge case of writer's block and decided to not sign up for fests, but instead to just do podfics and modding, I somehow wrote a total of 193,605 words and recorded a little more than 56 hours of podfic. O.O



Turn by [livejournal.com profile] saras_girl, Harry/Draco, NC-17 – 36:48:33

Where Your Treasure Lies Harry/Draco, NC-17 – 02:21:30

Wind of Change by [livejournal.com profile] serpenscript Draco, Lupin/Snape, NC-17 – 00:19:11

To Be Back Again in the Rest of the Room by [livejournal.com profile] lamerezouille NC-17 – 02:02:18

The Dangers of Trusting a Slytherin Son (and his Gryffindor friend) by [livejournal.com profile] nherizu Harry/Draco – 00:06:29

Rise Above the Moon Harry/Draco NC-17 – 01:51:55

Reasonable Adjustments by [livejournal.com profile] leemarchais Harry/Draco, NC-17 – 02:05:40

Onslaught by [livejournal.com profile] zeitgeistic Harry/Draco, NC-17 – 00:58:38

Muddying the Waters by [livejournal.com profile] emansil_12 Harry/Draco, Harry/Ginny, Harry/Draco/Ginny, NC-17 – 00:19:46

Mandrakes by [livejournal.com profile] frayach Albus Severus/Scorpius and Harry/Draco both unrequited, NC-17 – 00:44:39

If These Walls Could Talk by [livejournal.com profile] calrissian18 unrequited Albus Severus/Draco and Harry/Draco Alternate Endings NC-17 – 02:11:23 and – 02:16:31

Fathers of the Groom(s) by [livejournal.com profile] dracogotgame Harry/Draco, PG-13 – 00:22:27

Father Knows Best Lucius, Draco, Harry, R – 00:20:25

Duality by [livejournal.com profile] 0idontknow0 Harry/Draco, NC-17 – 00:19:24

The Dangers of Trusting a Slytherin Son (and His Gryffindor Friend) by [livejournal.com profile] nherizu Harry/Draco, Albus Severus/Scorpius, NC-17 – 00:06:29

Close Your Eyes by [livejournal.com profile] melusinahp Severus Snape/Harry Potter, NC-17 – 00:46:18

Bedside Manners by [livejournal.com profile] serpenscript Poppy Pomfrey, Minerva McGonagall, PG – 00:18:15

The Winner Shaves it All [livejournal.com profile] candamira and [livejournal.com profile] nia_kantorka NC17 Harry/Draco, – 00:30:17

Shelter Nico di Angelo/Will Solace, NC-17 – 03:23:22 *WiP* (chapters 1-14 posted so far)






Under Her Skin Millicent/Draco, R – 600 – featuring art by [livejournal.com profile] nherizu

Reject Me Not James/Albus Severus, R – 320

Grimmauld Horror Teddy Lupin, R – 3400

Give Me All You Can Harry/Draco, NC-17 – 4900

Dreamless Sleep Blaise/Draco, NC-17 – 3100

By Chance or By Choice Harry/Draco, R – 5400 – featuring art by [livejournal.com profile] chibitoaster

All The Feels Moaning Myrtle/ Pansy, Blaise, Harry, NC-17 – 2800

A Tricky Little Potion Harry/Draco, NC-17 – 2400

A Study in Compromise Harry/Draco, NC-17 – 1900

Cream Harry/Draco, NC-17 – 3200

Walking the Edge Harry/Draco, NC-17 – 4450

'Twas Brillig Harry/Draco, Harry/Ginny (side pairings), NC-17 – 73,000 (it may post in 2015, but it was very much written in 2014, so I'm counting it)

Percy Jackson

Shelter Nico di Angelo/Will Solace – NC-17 – 71,500 (part 1 of shelterverse) – Featuring cover art by St00pz and fan art in chapters 3 and 30 by Karou0

Atonement Apollo/Zephyros – NC-17 – 4600 (part 2 of shelterverse) – Fan art by Brunagonda is coming soon!

Devotion Nico di Angelo/Will Solace, Apollo/Zephyros – NC-17 – 7200 (part 3 of shelterverse)

Fulfillment Reyna Availa Ramirez-Arellano/Rachel Elizabeth Dare, Apollo/Zephyros – NC-17 – 2800 (part 4 of shelterverse)



Thank you fandom for being so inspiring!
mab: mab cosplays (sexy wexy)
I want to thank everybody who remembered me this holiday season and I'm sorry this post is so late. I've been waiting for reveals to happen at [livejournal.com profile] hd_owlpost before posting, but it seems they are taking some time, so I'll just post about what I received and gave later.

Cards:

Thanks to [livejournal.com profile] hikarievandar, [livejournal.com profile] lyonessheart, [livejournal.com profile] candamira, [livejournal.com profile] mayfly_78, [livejournal.com profile] chibitoaster, [livejournal.com profile] sksdwrld, [livejournal.com profile] leemarchais, [livejournal.com profile] jad, [livejournal.com profile] digthewriter, [livejournal.com profile] lokifan, [livejournal.com profile] anemonen, [livejournal.com profile] groolover, [livejournal.com profile] winnett, [livejournal.com profile] kitty_fic, [livejournal.com profile] saras_girl, [livejournal.com profile] writcraft for sending me cards. There's a picture of them below!







[livejournal.com profile] groolover sent me a calendar along with her holiday card. It is THE best ever! I've shared it with all my friends that have visited this past month. The agree it's awesome. It is a calendar featuring [livejournal.com profile] saras_girl and her lovely wife, [livejournal.com profile] dannyfranx in their natural habitat of unusual pets and odds and ends.

And I want to thank all the people who signed up for my holiday card list this year! You helped me break last years number of sent cards! I enjoy shopping for fandom related cards and odds and ends so much and nothing makes me happier than sending them to people who are important to me and will appreciate them as much as I do. I also try to buy them from fandom artists because that's the best.

The lovely [livejournal.com profile] saladbats sent me a lovely post owl necklace and card!











If you sent me a card and I missed you on this list, I'm so sorry. Poke me and let me know. I tried really hard to keep my cards together as they arrived, but with holiday mail and all the things that go along with real life business, I know I've been scatterbrained.

Last year I sent 25 cards to fandom friends and this year... dun dun dun... 41!!!

Fanarts:

[livejournal.com profile] chibitoaster finished an illustration for my fic Where Your Treasure Lies and it's now updated with the other art she did for it and I'm over the moon by how beautiful they both are.







Also I want to thank [livejournal.com profile] nherizu for doing fanart from my ficlet Under Her Skin as a pay-it-forward gift. The art is in the fic and links to her full size post on Ao3. Thank you!!! I love it, bb!

I spent a lovely New Year's Eve with my dear friend Lacey and her fiancée, Sierra. [livejournal.com profile] dawnlett and I met her at 2013 LeakCon and snatched her up and adopted her. I am very much looking forward to this summer when I visit all the lovely people at [livejournal.com profile] hp_uk_meetup.







Okie Dokie! Thanks everybody for being an awesome community. The Harry Potter fandom is still so strong and through it I've made some lifelong friends. I know I can count on many more years of making future friends through it too and that is just AWESOME!

... I'll probably post my 2014 year-in-review after the [livejournal.com profile] harrybang goes live. I seem to have created a hell of a lot more words and hours of podfic than I realized, now that I've compiled it all. :P

Catch you all later! It's back to proofreading for me!
mab: mab cosplays (sexy wexy)
Hello all! I have had a very good couple of days and I haven't had much time to be on livejournal.

First of all, [livejournal.com profile] hp_podfic_fest posted today and two of my fics were podficced!

Dispelling the Gloom ready by [livejournal.com profile] starduchess

And

Father Knows Best by [livejournal.com profile] mab Featuring cover art by [livejournal.com profile] 8c





I have a new house mate! My husband and I talked and decided to invite my new friend to stay with us while she is on the waiting list for the women's shelter. We figure she'll have a better chance of finding her feet again if she doesn't need to worry about finding safe places to sleep, etc... Especially as nights are beginning to get cold. She and I have an agreement that we will both develop "wellness" charts to monitor all the stuff we have to do and can be cheerleaders for each other... So we don't procrastinate/ ignore unpleasant tasks.

So far it's working well and after a long day of getting shit done, we're watching the Star Trek reboots.

Yesterday, immediately after we asked friend to stay with us, I got a call from the private school my daughter was wait-listed for. The had an available spot!!! So I nabbed it and she attended her first day today (which is actually yesterday, but I haven't slept and so I'm behind). This school is much better suited to Gwen's needs and she came home smiling, talking, and telling me all about her new classes. She knows a number of the students there and her art teacher from last year is now teaching at this school too.

I drove my parents to the airport earlier. They're going to London and then Paris, where my brother and his wife are having their formal wedding ceremony. I'm very much looking forward to pictures!

Downside of all these changes - I've been driving all day and am totally wiped out, but I also have a sinus thing and sore throat and my clinging toddler has been making it difficult for me to get restful sleep. I'm going to try again soon, now that I've had my slippery elm tea and have given toddler time without me there do he can fall asleep. Thank god it Saturday. I'm planning to sleep in and then take daughter to the gym with me and maybe even write a bit in the evening.


mab: mab cosplays (sexy wexy)
1. Harry Potter series by JK Rowling
2. Percy Jackson series by Rick Riordan
3. The Secret Garden by Frances Hodgson Burnett
4. The Vampire Chronicles by Anne Rice
5. Alice in Wonderland and Through the Looking Glass by Lewis CarrolI
6. I Never Promised You a Rose Garden Joanne Greenberg
7. A Wrinkle in Time by Madeleine l'Engle
8. The Lover by Marguerite Duras
9. Hanged at Auschwitz by Sam Kessel
10. The Lord of the Flies by William Golding



He takes a breath and lets it out. It feels good to get this off his chest. To just tell it like it is instead of having to tiptoe on eggshells so as not to step on any toes.

Rolf nods and offers him a cup of tea, then takes one himself. He rocks back in his chair, and replaces the teapot and wheels back in front of Harry. "Go on. Anything else about work? How are things at home?"

Harry sips his tea. It's good. Something herbal, natural, a bit slick. "This is good. What's in it?" He's stalling and he knows it. And he knows Rolf knows he knows it too.

I tag [livejournal.com profile] writcraft and [livejournal.com profile] emansil_12

Don't feel obligated to participate. I'm on my phone so I'm posting and then coming back to edit in the rules.
mab: mab cosplays (sexy wexy)
*kisses the ground*

I've had the worst mental block lately and it's been so damn frustrating. I have no problem plotting fics, but when I sit down to actually make words, I've been getting about a sentence or two down and then SQUIRREL... off my mind goes in a totally different place.

Anyway... Now that I've completed the first round of edits of Chapter twelve of Turn, the podfic, I'm finally sitting down with nothing else on my plate and words are just coming out all over the place. I'm hoping to get my glompfic written entirely tonight (took an extra ritalin right before sitting down to write) and then I'll be able to cross another thing off my to-do list of DOOM!

Okay... That's enough for now, I just had to share. I'm writing in the Harrybang chatzy room, if anybody who has access wants to join me. Or if you'd like to tempt me away to srs, I will likely follow. XD

eta: And I can officially cross Glompfest fic writing off my list! WooooooT!
mab: mab cosplays (sexy wexy)
Since it's going around... I always thought I was a full moon baby, (based on mom's account) but looks like just after.

Interestingly... Harry Potter has the same result. I just checked since it's his birthday!



You were born during a Waning Gibbous moon

This phase occurs right after a full moon.





- what it says about you -


You love to let people in on the story of how things come together. You know the background of ideas and have a deep understanding of things others just touch the surface of. You can surprise people with your wide variety of knowledge, and they'll remember and appreciate you for it.


What phase was the moon at on your birthday? Find out at Spacefem.com




mab: mab cosplays (sexy wexy)


I can totally handle my inlaws for about a week... It's been a week as of yesterday and I'm here for two more days. *headdesk*

So I escaped for about 4 hours earlier today and drove to a coffee shop where I could write and do mod/beta/fandom things without my kids climbing all over me.

I got back about an hour ago, after realising I'd been gone as long as I had. I picked up some duplo (baby lego blocks) for the toddler and 12 year old to play with together, figuring the blocks can live here and they can play with them when we visit again. So I bring the blocks into the living room after unloading a bag of groceries, the toddler is glued to my leg at this point. And Father in Law pushes pause on some podcast he's sharing with husband and Mother in Law and gives me this look of annoyance while I open the blocks for the toddler to play with.

"I'll just be a sec, and then we'll take these upstairs and you can get on with your thing".

I swear to god... I feel like everytime I walk into the room, if I don't show interest in whatever academic thing they're watching/listening to/discussing, I'm not welcome to be in the same room. Like ... they didn't notice my four hour absence and would have been happy if it had been longer.

I know I'm reading into it a bit, but it totally feels like that's how things are. I'm most comfortable hanging out in this tiny closet with my laptop, microphone, and kindle than I am anywhere else here. I've smoked nearly an entire pack of cigarettes in the past day while "out" avoiding this place, and I quit smoking ages ago...

Okay.. rant done. It will be over soon. Just a few more days and next year I've already made plans to only be here three days and then escape to London to hang out with Writcraft.



The other reason I'm posting is because I have a podfic that I need a quick beta listen on. It's only about 20 minutes long. It's not a happy fic, and is a bit dark, but it's not a destroy your soul sort of thing either. Anybody want to help me out with that? The cover art for it is AWESOME and I can't wait until it will post for the [livejournal.com profile] hp_podfic_fest!

All sorted
mab: mab cosplays (sexy wexy)
I'm not posting a weight/fitness update this month because I'm out of sorts right now... I will post again after I'm back home and feel like the world is right again, but that will have to wait until next month.



So I'm visiting my in laws in Vermont, per usual for the summer. We try to visit once a year for about a week and a half. This year I've just been blah about the whole thing. I like my in laws, but they are really sort of fuddy duddies, and father in law spends the majority of his time recording and watching news and science programs. Which is great. He's very informed and intelligent, a former professor of Astronomy at some big University in Texas... former colleague of Neil deGrasse Tyson, etc... so it's not that I don't respect him and like him... but nobody is allowed to talk while these programs are on. If you say something... he pauses the TV with his remote and there's this feeling of doom hanging over the room until he once again restarts his program...

I loathe television. I really do. I have a television set, but the only thing I really use it for is netflix, hulu, itunes, streaming movies or programs to entertain my kids at times when they're driving me nuts and I'd love an hour or two of no noise or feet thundering through the house, or calls of MOOOOOM!

So this television is the thing that happens in this house... thing... doesn't sit well with me. I spend most of my time upstairs in the guest room, while my kids are entertaining themselves in the other spare bedroom/office and husband and baby are sitting with the family, playing on laptop and baby has some toys that live here that keep him busy.

Anyway... it's depressing and there's no real "nearby" cities with things happening. I'm also suffering from some sort of allergy to the grass in the area and my body itches all over, so I'm stuck inside the house, taking benadryl so I don't scratch my skin off... And I think this is related to the allergic symptoms,... but my lap band is making it hard for me to eat. I keep getting "stuck".

Like this morning, I made myself a piece of toast with butter, a quarter cup of cottage cheese and a quarter cup of cantaloupe, honeydew, watermelon bits... I ate about a third of it and couldn't swallow any more... like it had blocked my esophagus. Even water wouldn't push it down... so I laid down and rested a couple of hours. It passed. I got back up and tried to finish my food from earlier and it happened again. This time, I was coughing up cottage cheese trying to clear it. Ugh... So Maybe I'll lose weight despite not being able to properly exercise. I just hope what bits of food I do manage to take in will be sufficient protein to prevent muscle loss.

I had planned to work out in the basement of their house, but after going down there and seeing it's really an unfinished, damp basement with stone walls and floors.... that's a no-go. I'd bruise myself sitting on the floor. I'd totally go for some long walks if I wasn't allergic to the air here. *headdesk*



Okay... enough complaining from me. On the plus side, I managed to finish recording chapter 12 of Turn, though it's really rough and I won't be able to start editing until I get home and off my laptop. I may go ahead and get chapter 13 and the epilogue recorded too... Might as well if I can't find anything else to entertain myself with.









I'm still planning to write my glompfic for [livejournal.com profile] serpentinelion but though I have it all outlined and ready, my writing muse has fucked off. I may sit down and give it a go in a bit.. Could be that I just haven't tried... maybe I'll drive out to a local pub and get out of here on my own for a bit.... *ponders*

Sorry this is all a bit ranty and all over. I really don't have serious major life problems, and I feel guilty ranting about minor annoyances, but I've got to let it out sometimes.

Thanks for reading if you made it through. No worries if you have no response. :)
mab: mab cosplays (sexy wexy)
Hey all,

Just dropping a note in my journal to let you all know I'm spending the next 10 days in Vermont with my family, visiting inlaws. They have wifi, but it's not the best, so I will be around and reachable, it just might take a bit for me to respond.

I'm planning to record chapter 12 of Turn while I'm here and attempt to make progress on my glompfic for [livejournal.com profile] serpentinelion. I love the prompt and have the whole thing plotted, but writing hasn't been something my brain is interested in lately. I'm having way too much fun recording podfics and playing with my voice. Could be that acting streak in me that went dormant after my car accident is waking up again. Whatever it is, I like it and will roll with it.

So. If you need me, your best bet in grabbing my attention is by email... Qumabh@gmail.com I'll be around on gtalk sporadically, so if I don't answer right away, I promise it's not that I'm ignoring you! XD
mab: mab cosplays (sexy wexy)
Damn... Life has been busy lately.

I'm planning to write up another weight loss/fitness update soon. (If you're not on my weight loss filter and want to be, let me know in a comment or by PM)


I've been working hard at getting my daughter enrolled in high school and making sure she gets all the support that I can get for her. I'm looking into a summer program for kids her age that addresses social anxiety in a therapeutic/group sort of fun setting.

She's mentioned that she wants help with overcoming her shyness. This weekend my mom took her to see Maleficent and they ran into three girls she's been friendly with since kindergarten, one of them she counts as her best friend, but mom told me she just froze up and couldn't really talk. That she wanted to, but later told mom she's afraid of saying the wrong thing and sounding dumb. :( These are all girls I know personally too and they aren't the judgy-pushy types. They're all proud feminists and are receptive to hanging out with Gwen. It kills me that it's so hard for her, but I really have to swallow it down and just support her in finding her own way. I can't fix it for her. And really, there's nothing wrong with being introverted. I just worry that it might begin to overwhelm her to a point where it is not healthy. *sigh* parenting is hard!





I broke my vow to not participate in writing for fests this year and claimed a prompt for Glompfest at [livejournal.com profile] serpentinelion It will be my third time participating. This has always been one of my favorite fests to write for and I'm really pumped about the story I'm working on. That said... Anybody willing to alpha read/cheerlead for me while I write it? (sorted) I'm hoping to get it all done this month, since I'm on a mod vacation from [livejournal.com profile] hp_darkarts. If you are willing, let me know either in a comment, PM, or email. Qumabh@gmail.com



Hrm... what else.

I've not had much time at all for reading/commenting and that makes me sad. I'm hoping that once school is out for the summer, I'll have more time again. I do have several recs I need to finish writing and post them here and on my tumblr.

I've been hard at work on podficcing chapter nine of Turn this month. I finally finished the 2nd round of edits and sent it to [livejournal.com profile] saras_girl for pre-listening. One more round of edits when I get it back and it will be up and posted. Chapter nine is the longest one yet. Nearly 3 hours!

I'm getting really excited for the Harry Big Bang at [livejournal.com profile] harrybang! We're making plans to fancy up the comm and start pimping hard! Our next Author spotlight is coming up on 10 June and if you're not already watching the comm, I encourage you to start!

All right. That's all for now. I don't want to talk your ears off.
mab: mab cosplays (sexy wexy)
[livejournal.com profile] icmezzo is hosting a voice meme for HP Shippers. Visit it HERE to hear what the people on your f-list sound like!

My recording is Mab's voice meme


Go and check it out! It's fun!
mab: mab cosplays (sexy wexy)
based on 4 fanfic examples

I write like
J. K. Rowling

I Write Like. Analyze your writing!




based on 5 original fic examples


I write like
Anne Rice

I Write Like. Analyze your writing!




These was rather fun to do. It figures my style would be like these lovely ladies. I have a shelves in my dining room dedicated exclusively to each of them. Do them yourselves and share!

Also... I have a fic rec for you! The remix done from one of my fics posted and was so lovely and perfect, I want to see it get more love!

Author: currently anonymous
Title: Romance, in Quartet
Pairing(s): Harry/Draco, past Harry/Ginny, past Draco/Astoria
Rating: NC-17
Contains: minor character death and suicide (behind the scenes)
Summary: It is a human need to tell stories, as it is to live, to love. As his cancer-stricken son battled death, Draco, the writer of WWN's The Romance Hour, found solace in his quill. Little did he know this romance, written over endless cups of coffee, would star himself and Scorpius’ Healer, Harry Potter. Remix of Coffee Talks by Mab.
Word Count: 14,000
Why I loved it: I loved this story so much, and not only because it's a remix of one of my own fics. The voice the author has given to Draco is just perfect. It's fits in so well with how I had pictured him in my mind when I wrote the original, that being treated to the remix was very much like a visit from an old friend that I hadn't realised I had missed and needed for so long. I do recommend reading the original before the remix, to get the whole story, but I also think this fic stands well on it's own.

And I also want to get more reading of my own done soon.
mab: mab cosplays (sexy wexy)
Damn it. I was just finally writing up some recs for tumblr/lj when my laptop disconnected from the internet. It now says it has no wifi hardware installed. *pulls out hair*
We're off to the mac store. Fortunately it's still under warranty. I do have a desk top I can use, so I won't be gone, but this is very annoying.
mab: mab cosplays (sexy wexy)
I didn't do the end of year writing meme and new year's goals last year and I'm kicking myself for it. So this year, I am doing one. I feel rather accomplished looking back over the past year. I took a lot of risks and feel that I have passed another mile marker on my journey as a writer.

Writing Meme )
mab: mab cosplays (sexy wexy)
The dark Christmas fest, In the Shadow of the Season is coming to [livejournal.com profile] hp_darkarts in two days and I'm so excited!!!

Season Banner


My livejournal 5 year anniversary is on the 15th (only 5 days away)! I'm torn between feeling like that feels like a long time and it feels like I've been around longer. lol

Life for me has been going well. I'm busier than usual trying to find the right high school for my daughter to attend next year and getting her application in before it's too late. Next year I will have one kid in pre-school, one kid in middle school and one kid in high school. I think it may short circuit my brain trying to get them all to and from school on time.

The older two kids are also in braces (for their teeth) and the past few months has been busy with appointments and other stuff related to the mouth. The anniversary of my first husband's death was last month and we all made it through well enough. 10 years he's been gone. It's amazing how time flies.

I'm plugging away at writing a short fic for something secret and because my attention has been pulled in all directions, I've been working on it for over a month and am at about 1000 words. *headdesk* This too shall pass. My only other plans for fandom are to get my hd_remix written and to mod hp_darkarts with [livejournal.com profile] writcraft

I just got home from showing my other house to prospective renters (the woman is also a fandom friend and slasher in the Avengers fandom) so ... fingers crossed they'll take it and I won't have to worry about finding renters any more.

I have more HP recs for fic and art and will post them soon, but I've been a bit scattered, so that will wait for now.

I hope you are all well and to the people who signed up for my Christmas cards post, I hope the cards arrived and you liked them!

Love you lots, f-list!
mab: mab cosplays (sexy wexy)


The Kickstarter

There's five days left for this kickstarter to be fully funded. I know with the USA being where it is right now, money is tight, but if this message moves you, share it on facebook or tumblr, tweet it, donate one dollar, just get the word out. Equal means Equal and it's time to call Bullshit on those who would keep us quiet.

*steps down*

*coughing*

Mab is sick. (like-super-major-brain-leaking-out-of-my-nose-cold)

September 2016

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